Season 2 in Five Minutes
by ShinyShimaron
Summary: Haven't seen season 2? Unable to watch it because of the occasional creepy animation? Luckily for you, I have seen season 2 so YOU DON'T HAVE TO! Below is a summary of every single episode in that season. You are welcome! Script!fic.


**Summary: **Haven't seen season 2? Unable to watch it because of the occasional creepy animation? Luckily for you, I have seen season 2 so YOU DON'T HAVE TO! Below is a summary of every single episode in that season. You are welcome! Script!fic.

**Warnings:** Swearing/Adult language. May decrease your IQ points, but if you've read the other season summaries your IQ is likely zero anyway.

**Season 2 in Five minutes.**

YUURI: Well this is a fine place to start season 2, isn't it?

CONRAD: No! Your stupid episode management has left me no choice but to kidnap you. But don't worry I'm totally a double agent I'm not even evil.

CONRAD: Except for that whole killing Josak thing.

JOSAK: It's ok the writers let me live!

CONRAD: Well damn I'm just gonna have to be motherfucking badass as hell. Look at this shit arrows FUCK YEAH! Hey Yuuri does this make you mad? You gonna go into Maou mode?

YUURI: Nah.

CONRAD: See this is why I have no self-esteem. I'm leaving you jerks.

YUURI: NOOOOO CONRAD DON'T LEEEEEAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

CONRAD: Ok fine.

SHOURI: Hey I am Yuuri's brother I've come from out of nowhere LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME.

NICOLA: I brought El to the castle!

EL: SHIT I GOT KIDNAPPED!

ULRIKE: I'm gonna turn everyone into a girl, starting with Wolfram and Gunt... okay, looks like someone got to them first.

WOLFRAM: Boo.

ELISABETH: Wolfram, let's make babies! I'm in love with you even though you're an asshole!

WOLFRAM: Rarr I'm gonna act like even more of an asshole rarr aren't I endearing?

JOSAK: The fourth box is in a forest somewhere.

JOSAK: Actually it isn't that was a waste of time.

GWENDAL: I want to have a flashback episode of my own! Conrad keeps hogging them.

CONRAD: Yo Gwendal, let's make this episode about my dad instead teehee!

GWENDAL: Fucking A.

YUURI: Hey let's go assassinate Belar!

CONRAD: Hey great idea-

YUURI: Damn I got kidnapped by Adelbert!

ADELBERT: Blah blah Julia blah blah emo blah blah cry blah blah!

YUURI: Listen you pedo, leave me the hell alone.

ADELBERT: Blah blah sob blah blah off a cliff you go.

CONRAD: I JUST MOTHERFUCKING CAUGHT YOU IT WAS BADASS AND SHI-

ADELBERT: Blah blah let's fight blah blah.

CONRAD: THERE IS NO WISDOM THAT CAN EXIST IN THE FACE OF LOVE.

ADELBERT: What the hell does that even mean?

CONRAD: It means you're a dumbass. Let's fight. BLAH BLAH BLAH HONOR BLAH BLAH I'M HOT BLAH BLAH OUR SWORDS ARE PHALLIC SYMBOLS.

JOSAK: Just make out already!

MAXINE: You want to eat chili. You really want to eat chili. I'm going to spend an entire episode eating it. Are you hungry yet?

YUURI: Hey I've gone back in time to when Conrad was sexier.

JULIA: Yes Conrad was really sexy, or so I've heard.

YUURI: I can't believe he chopped off his hair... it's just so sad... *SOB*

GUNTER: HAY GURL, I'M LIKE IN A WESTERN AND ALL HAAAAAAAY!

JOSAK: Oh no, Alford is out there somewhere being a dumbass!

CONRAD: Let's stop him!

ALFORD: I lost my magic sword.

CONRAD: If you can't hang onto a sword you don't fucking deserve it GTFO.

BELAR: I HAVE KIDNAPPED ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD FOR SOME REASON AND NOW I AM MIND CONTROLLING PEOPLE.

YUURI: I will just glow you to death then! *GLOW*

BELAR: THE LAMENESS, IT BURNS.

MURATA: All of the main characters have to go to Earth and we have to do it naked.

YUURI: Why naked? I never go naked.

MURATA: Because Shinou is a pervert.

SHOURI: Look I am a main character I am Shouri!

CONRAD: Who the holy fuck are you?

SHOURI: I am Shouri I want to protect Yuuri too unlike you.

CONRAD: STAND THE FUCK DOWN, BITCH. YOU AREN'T A MAIN CHARACTER YOU SUCK GIANT DONKEY BALLS.

YUURI: Bob is evil we need to go tell him he's bad.

BOB: I'm not evil I was just trying to waste time so we don't have to make another filler episode.

YUURI: Good idea.

NICOLA: I am bringing El to the castle!

EL: OH SHIT I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED.

JULIA'S DAD: Julia was awesome huh Conrad.

CONRAD: Yes she was let me reflect on this for a while.

GUNTER: Um, hello, being possessed over here...

CONRAD: Yeah, Julia sure was awesome. She liked flowers and shit.

YUURI: We have to go on an evil snowy mountain and kill each other!

WOLFRAM: I DON'T TRUST THEM TO NOT BE EVIL THEREFORE I WILL BE EVIL INSTEAD TO PREEMPT THEIR EVIL DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

YUURI: I'm stupid as hell IDEK.

YUURI: I'm gonna put all our lives in danger so I can get a fucking baseball mitt for Greta.

CONRAD: You are the reason I have PSTD.

HUMANS: LET'S BUILD A BRIDGE LOL.

YUURI: OK I'LL HELP FILLER EPISODE LOL.

SHINOU: Hey past!Murata let's do the nasty.

PAST!MURATA: I am far too intelligent to- you know what let's just fuck.

PAST!EVERYONE: We're watching and it's creepy!

ONDINE: My sister is evil.

CONRAD: I'm just gonna sacrifice myself so I don't have to be on this stupid show anymore.

YUURI: I saved you lol.

CONRAD: Aww.

YUURI: Let's do this dangerous ceremony thing.

SHOURI: Don't do it!

CONRAD: SHUT THE FUCK UP SHOURI WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

SHOURI: I just want more screen time.

WOLFRAM: Oh no I died I am dead.

CONRAD: Wolfram is dead.

CHERI: Wolfram is dead.

WOLFRAM: Yes I am dead.

CONRAD: Also I can't use my arm.

CHERI: OH NO YOUR POOR ARM THAT'S SO SAD.

WOLFRAM: Doesn't anyone care that I'm dead what the fuck people.

YUURI: Let's sit around and talk about how everything in the world sucks.

WOLFRAM: I am still dead if you didn't realize.

YUURI: Hey I have an idea, we should go try to stop Shinou from being evil!

CONRAD: Great idea!

MURATA: MURATOWNED!

YUURI: YOU'RE MEAN MURATA OMG.

WOLFRAM: And I'm still dead.

SHINOU: Actually no you aren't.

WOLFRAM: Yay I'm not dead but I'm still useless.

YUURI: I am like so emo now.

CONRAD: Me too I just punched a hole in a brick wall because I am so emo.

YUURI: Yep, emo emo emo. Very emo.

JULIA: FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT YOU EMO WANKER.

YUURI: Hmm ok.

CONRAD: Finally, a good excuse to kill Yuuri... JUST WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL THIS TIME.

WOLFRAM: What?

CONRAD: I mean, Yuuri would have wanted it this way.

YUURI: I stopped being emo and Shinou has been defeated so I am as powerful as Shinou now and am super awesome and everything is resolved.

EVERYONE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

THE END.


End file.
